“Be gracious to me, O Lord, for I am languishing; heal me, O Lord, for my bones are troubled…
“Save me for the sake of your steadfast love…
“I am weary with my mourning; every night I flood my bed with tears; I drench my couch with my weeping…
“Depart from me, all you workers of evil, for the Lord has heard the sound of my weeping. The Lord has heard my plea; the Lord accepts my prayer.”
Sunday I spent the day in tears. Tears of exhaustion and stress. The last few weeks parenting has been harder than normal. Life has been busier than normal. Stress levels have been higher than normal. And Sunday it all came to a head. I cried before church, during church and after church. I cried because I had been praying and praying for God to give me wisdom with my oldest child and it felt like he wasn’t coming through. I cried because we are in the process of moving and everything is out of place. I cried because it felt like life had built a wall between me and my husband. I cried A LOT!
But when all the tears finally dried, victory was there waiting. I don’t know why God brought me to a place of complete brokenness before he decided to heal me; but then again I do. I try and solve problems my way; even when I’m asking for his guidance I don’t always surrender my own thoughts and plans.
But when I had nothing, absolutely nothing left to give, God was able to come in and heal in a mighty way.
My heart and mind and the dynamics in our family have shifted. I can’t explain it other than to say that Psalm 6 is true. When I was overwhelmed I cried to God. I reached a place of such brokenness that I had nothing left to give; and that’s precisely where God wanted me to be. In my weakness he could display his strength.
So go ahead and let the tears fall. Reach the end of your rope. It is there that you will truly discover the lovingkindness of God!